Meditation zzz..

Is that whats its all about !! For past four weeks beginning Burns Night, I have been going there but to what end ! The folks are warm & friendly but dont have the kick-ass moves I was hoping for. They have a few exercises but nah..not working for me. And I am not sure we are on same wavelengths ! What they speak of going into a thoughtless awareness, I take it as trying to sleep while sitting straight, which aint easy..well getting to sleep is an issue for me anyways which is one of the reasons I started looking for something to calm me down. The other reason was I find it hard to switch off from work even after couple of hours, which is almost time to go to bed sometimes..Loads of time after leaving work, I keep thinking about things I didnt do that day, what must I do first thing next morning and so forth. I even mentally compose my emails to save me time next day..
And its not sad..Thats not the way I want it to be, and I am working on it...The problem is the minute I stop caring, I dont give a shit..which is the other extreme..God, why does it always rain on me !!